Remembering My Father

I do not know very much about my adoptive father except his kind, grey-blue eyes and the way he would purse his lips, especially when he was upset. My father loved to talk about his experiences in World War One. He was a medic for the army, caring for the wounded in the battlefields in France. He was awarded a medal for bravery both from the French and the United States. He showed them to me often. He also had the first driver's license issued in Omaha, Nebraska in 1919. My father was vice president of Omaha Ice and Cold Storage in Omaha, Nebraska. This was a company he helped to form in 1921. They manufactured large blocks of ice for homes and businesses' refrigeration. At that time, electric freezers and refrigerators had not been invented. The company continued to make block ice until the 1960's. They were very proud of the clarity of the ice they manufactured. I remember as a little girl being allowed into the huge storage facility of the plant where the ice blocks were stored. The cold air was delightful on hot Nebraska days. My father loved to go fishing, especially at Spirit Lake, Iowa, and in Minnesota near Bimidji. We went every summer for two weeks until I was a teenager.

I know very little about my biological father. I was told by an uncle I met after being reunited with my birth family that he was adventurous in his youth, even trying a little gold prospecting. He was in the army as a cook and also did some farming in Arkansas.

My adoptive father seemed very easy going. I never heard him raise his voice or show anger. I would like to think I am like him. His best qualities were his calm, quiet demeanor and his strong work ethic. My father tended to avoid confrontation, preferring to escape either by leaving when my mother went into a drinking tirade or drinking beer after beer at the kitchen table, never saying a word. I can only imagine my mother's drinking and drug abuse must have saddened him. As I said, he dealt with this by either leaving with my twin, Gary, leaving me alone with her, or by drinking.

The happiest memory I have of my father is going out on a fishing boat with him when we vacationed in Iowa or Minnesota. I felt close to him when we did things together. The most painful memory I have of my father is when he was dieing in the hospital. A priest came to give him his last rites. This memory came rushing back to me just the other night while watching "Grey's Anatomy" during the scene when George's family gathers around his father's bed to let him go.My father died after a brief stay in a hospital when I was sixteen. He had died from gangrene poisoning. He had fallen and rolled down a small hillside at a high school football game. Gary was playing in that game. The fall had caused a twist in his intestine which doctors incorrectly diagnosed as a hernia. He was buried in Omaha.

I believe the most important things I learned from my father was to be calm and patient. I most enjoyed listening to him talk for hours. He loved to talk to me about his life experiences. He also liked to draw funny cartoons of a character from World War One called Hinky-Dinky. Later, after my mother died, he talked to me about family matters I needed to be aware of if he should die suddenly. He must have felt I was mature enough to remember these details and look after the welfare of my brother and myself.

I know a few details about how my adoptive mother and father met and eventually married. They met at a mutual friend's party. Within a year, they were married. My mother was nineteen. My father was thirty-nine. This was her first marriage and his second marriage. They had a civil ceremony at city hall in Omaha. I think they loved each other but after they were unable to have children, they grew apart and my mother started drinking heavily. I think my twin brother and I were adopted in an effort to make their marriage stronger. My birth father would only allow our adoption if we were kept together. From what my mother said to me often as I was growing up, they really wanted Gary but reluctantly took me in order to have him. I don't know why she so cruelly pointed that out to me, time after time.